Die Hard - The Mario Version
by Radinov
Summary: Peach gets taken hostage in her own castle - Mario is the only one that can save her.


DIE HARD  
With Mario  
  
By Proctor  
  
---  
  
Mario was walking to castle after being invited by Princess Peach for a party. He walked along a  
track called Sayonara Track. One the side he saw some flowers which he though Peach might like,  
so he picked them.  
  
A few birds flew overhead. Bowser had been defeated so many times, everyone was sure he would  
not try again, including himself. Koopa forces had been backing off since Mario had won again. To  
make sure Bowser wouldn't try something again, Mario had taken Bowser's kids hostage and would  
harm them if Bowser did anything.  
  
The castle could be seen from a distance. Mario started humming the tune to 'Bridge on the River  
Kwai'. He smelt the flowers he had picked, they smelt nice.  
  
When he got to the castle, he was welcomed by Toad. Toad told him that the Princess would be busy  
for a few minutes, and to make himself at home. Mario started talking to Donkey Kong and Diddy  
Kong, who had also been invited.  
  
Soon, another mushroom person came along. He told him to wait in a room and the Princess would  
come soon. He sat down and took his shoes off.  
  
"Aaaaaaahhhh!"  
  
Mario heard someone scream. He went outside to see what it was. Outside was Koopa Troopas   
entering with machine guns! Mario went back inside the room. He looked around. Nowhere to go!  
  
A Koopa Troopa was checking the rooms on this level, the other levels were locked. The Koopa was  
two doors away. Mario had to think quick. One door, Mario picked up a chair.  
  
Voice: "Kitekudasai."  
Koopa: "Hai."  
  
The Koopa walked off. Mario let out a sigh of relief, but what to do now? He watched as the   
Koopas took his friends off to the bigger room. When they were all gone, Mario came out and ran   
to the staircase. He went to the 4th level, as the hostages would be on the 3rd level.  
  
Could they unlock the door? He had a key from Peach. They had Peach!  
  
He needed to do something, but what? He looked around. Was there a phone? He searched the room   
for one. Yes! Who to dial? The police! He picked up the reciever, but it was dead.  
  
Now what? Mario looked around the room again. Tables, chairs, phone, window, fire alarm! Yeah!  
Mario broke the glass and pressed the button. An alarm went off. He looked through the window.  
In the distance a fire truck was coming.  
  
Meanwhile, the Koopa Troopa incharge got his 'tech-support' to stop the alarm and send a message  
that it was a false alarm. He then looked to his left.  
  
Leader: "Takako!"  
Takako: "Hai."  
Leader: "Ue."  
  
Takako started for the elevator while Mario watched as the fire trucks turned around.  
  
Mario: "Darn."  
  
Mario heard the elevator open. He hid behind some boxes. Takako came out with a machine gun and  
a backpack. Mario tried to get behind him.  
  
Takako: "Come out, come out."  
  
Mario could tell this Koopa was Japanese.  
  
Mario: "AAAAAHHHHH!"  
  
Out of nowhere, Mario jumped out and landed on top of the Koopa Troopa. Takako tried to let of a  
few shots but failed as Mario knocked the gun away. Takako went back into her shell as Mario   
skidded across the floor to where the gun was and let of a few shots.  
  
The bullets went through the shell and through Takako's heart.  
  
The leader of the Koopa Troopas heard the elavator, so went to hear Takakos report. Instead he  
found her dead body tied to a chair without the gun or the backpack. On the shell was written:  
  
"Now I have a machine gun! Ho, Ho, Ho..."  
  
Leader: "What the..."  
  
Upstairs, Mario had taken the bag and the gun and headed upstairs. He was now on the 6th floor.  
In the bag was a list of the terroists names.  
  
Mario: "Look at this."  
  
It said:  
SANAE  
SHINGO  
YUUSUKE  
TAKAKO  
YUKI  
CHIEKO  
KENICHI  
  
But the rest had been ripped off. Mario got out his pen and ruled a line through Takako.  
  
Also in the bag was a radio and some ammo for the gun. Mario reloaded and started thinking.  
  
Leader (SANAE): "We have an unwelcome guest."  
Chieko: "Hes got a radio, see if hes got it on!"  
  
Mario was walking around, looking at all the glass sculptures. Bzzz! Hes radio started talking!  
  
Sanae: "Guest! Are you there?"  
Mario: "No."  
Sanae: "Come on! Maybe we can have some kind of deal?"  
  
Kenichi turned around and grabbed the radio.  
  
Kenichi: "You killed my brother and I will kill you!"  
  
BANG!  
  
Sanae: "Don't worry about him, he retired."  
Mario: "How about you retire?"  
Sanae: "Come on. Who do you think you are? Some cowboy or something?"  
  
The elevator started to open on the level Mario was on.  
  
Mario: "Yippy kai yay."  
  
Mario went upstairs as Yuki searched that level.  
  
Sanae: "Yuki? Are you there?"  
Yuki: "Hai. Its all good."  
  
On the 7th floor was Yuusuke and some new guy.. Mario put a line through Kenichi. Downstairs was  
Yuki. He will need to fight his way out. Downstairs would be safer.  
  
Downstairs, he watched Yuki walk around. Across the hall was some more stairs. If he could only  
get to them. He tried crawlling across the ground.  
  
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  
  
Glass sculptures broke and glass was everywhere.  
  
Yuki: "You have no escape."  
  
A little Bo-bomb was in Yuki's pocket. She let it go and it started walking towards Mario. Yuki  
left in the elevator. When the bomb saw Mario, it lit its own fuse.  
  
Mario: "No!"  
  
Mario looked at the situation. He was lying down. He needed to get to the door on his left. The  
floor was covered with glass. He had no shoes on. A bomb was next to him.  
  
Mario: "AAAAAAHHHHH!"  



End file.
